she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
