I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
