Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
