You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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