he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
