where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
