As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
