She's JV to your varsity
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
