I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think i have two assholes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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