Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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