Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
