We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
