and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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