i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
