I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
