dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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