I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
