Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
