Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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