The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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