I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
