Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We need to get me chipped asap
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
