You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
