its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
