i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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