I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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