I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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