And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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