I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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