as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
