I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dicks are not precious.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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