Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
