dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
