hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
