I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
