dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
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