how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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