I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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