I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
where are my eyebrows?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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