I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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