Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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