How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
