She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
