After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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