Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
