my shit smells like andre
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
