there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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