Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
