Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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