so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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